Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Over You

How To Spot Narcissists’ Tactics When They’re Losing Control

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If you are caught in the web of manipulation and deceit that narcissists use, you are in for a challenging time. It is the deep-rooted fear of losing power that drives narcissists to maintain power over others. But what happens if a narcissist feels that control has slipped away? In this post, I will describe the signs and behaviors that emerge when the narcissist loses control.

Narcissistic Behavior: An Understanding

What Is Narcissism?

A narcissist is more than just someone who is self-obsessed or loves their own achievements; it is a complex personality disorder characterized by a false sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and an insatiable thirst for admiration. Narcissists often dominate and control the people around them.

The Common Traits Of Narcissists

It is important to recognize that narcissists display certain traits that allow them to be easily recognized. Namely, grandiosity, entitlement, constant validation, and manipulative tendencies. They present themselves as charming and charismatic, but their true aim is to gain personal gain and prestige.

Control Mechanisms Need To Be Understood

Dr. Alex Johnson says:

“The intersection of control and narcissism in relationships is a dangerous one.”

When you are a narcissist, you rely on control to protect your fragile ego. The idea of losing power may trigger intense feelings of insecurity and fear that lead you to engage in various tactics in order to regain control.

Also Read : The Types Of Toxic Relationships: Navigating The Minefield

Losing Control Of A Narcissist: Signs And Symptoms

Angry And Aggressive Behavior

Narcissists may become more aggressive and angry if they feel that they are losing control over their situation. You may notice sudden outbursts or erratic behavior that seem disproportionate to the situation at hand, which is often a defense mechanism intended to intimidate you into submission. This escalation is often a defense mechanism intended to intimidate you into submission.

Intensify Gaslighting And Manipulation

There are many ways in which narcissists manipulate their victims, and often they intensify their manipulation when they feel threatened. They may make you doubt your perceptions and your sanity, twisting facts to fit their narrative. They want to make you reliant on them as long as possible.

Relationships And Reputations Sabotaged

When a narcissist loses control, they may also ruin your reputation and relationships. By spreading rumors and creating conflicts, they want to isolate you from your family and friends, making it more difficult for them to manipulate you. According to a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, social manipulation is one of the most common tactics used by narcissists in order to gain control of their surroundings.

Seeking Sympathy And Playing The Victim

There is another sign of narcissism when the narcissist suddenly portrays himself as a victim to gain sympathy from others, exaggerating his or her own troubles and misrepresenting situations in order to gain support. This tactic serves two purposes: to gain support from others and to paint you as the aggressor.

The Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Over You

Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Over You

Using Emotional Manipulation

There is no doubt that narcissists are masters of emotional manipulation.

Dr. Jane Smith, a psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse, notes:

“Narcissists will exploit your emotional vulnerabilities to regain control.”

If he or she intends to manipulate your emotions and make you feel responsible for their well-being, they may use guilt, fear, or obligation to trick you into making decisions. One example would be a narcissist threatening to harm themselves if you leave. This will make you feel responsible for their well-being.

Campaigns Of Smear

It is very possible that a narcissist who is losing control of his/her body will launch a smear campaign against you, spreading false information in order to tarnish your reputation so you are isolated and dependent on him/her. According to a study published in the Journal of Social Psychology, social manipulation can be highly effective for maintaining control, thereby increasing your isolation and dependence on the narcissist.

Tactics Of Isolation

A narcissist may also isolate himself or herself when threatened. It is common for them to hinder you from spending time with your family members or friends.

One victim shared:

“He made me feel like my friends were against me and that he was the only one who truly cared.”

The key to recognizing these tactics and countering them is to build strong support networks to counteract them.

Also Read : What To Say When Ending A Toxic Relationship – Breaking Free

Intimidation And Threats

The threat of behavior or intimidation can create fear and compliance in victims. Real-life stories illustrate how victims are forced into toxic relationships by fear. In order to protect yourself, experts advise you to document all threats and seek legal advice, according to Legal Aid resources.

Affection And Love Bombings

During a period of narcissistic abuse, a narcissistic individual may resort to use for love bombing, when he or she showers you with attention and affection to regain control of the situation. This cyclical pattern can be confusing to someone at the beginning of it. Mental health experts stress that it is essential to recognize this pattern and break free of it.

A Strategy For Coping

Define Your Boundaries

When dealing with a narcissist, you must establish strong boundaries. Make sure you communicate your limits clearly and consistently enforce them.

For instance, one survivor shared,

“I told him I wouldn’t respond to any messages after 8 PM.”

It is important to set boundaries in order to protect your emotional health.

Consult With Someone

The support network you have is invaluable. Talk to your friends, family, and support groups to let them know how it’s going. They can provide validation and encouragement, helping you remain grounded. Narcissistic abuse victims can also get help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Counseling And Therapy

Therapy can be a powerful tool in healing from narcissistic abuse.

Therapist John Doe says:

“Therapy offers a safe space to process your experiences and develop healthy coping mechanisms.”

Seeking professional help rebuilds your self-esteem and resilience.

Providing Legal Protection

If you feel threatened, it’s essential to seek legal protection. Document all abusive behavior and consider a restraining order. Legal Aid offers guidance on navigating these processes to ensure your safety.

Also Read : What Are The Signs Of A Toxic Relationship?

Victims’ Long-Term Impact

Effects On Emotions And Psychology

Narcissistic abuse can last for years. Emotional trauma, anxiety, and low self-esteem are common. Personal anecdotes, combined with expert analysis, vividly illustrate the toll such relationships can take.

Recovering And Healing

Recovery from narcissistic abuse is possible. It involves taking deliberate steps toward healing, such as engaging in self-care, setting new goals, and building a positive support system. Inspirational quotes and success stories demonstrate that reclaiming your life is within reach.

Video Courtesy YT Channel @DarrenFMagee

Conclusion

Understanding the tactics narcissists use when losing control is vital for protecting yourself. By recognizing these behaviors, you can safeguard your emotional well-being. Remember, seeking help and support is a sign of strength. You deserve freedom from manipulation and control.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What Does A Narcissist Do When They Lose Control? 

A narcissist may become more aggressive, manipulate others, or play victim to regain control.

What Do Narcissists Do When They Cannot Control You? 

They might employ tactics like gaslighting, smear campaigns, or love bombing to re-establish dominance.

How Can A Narcissist Be Shut Down? 

Setting clear boundaries and maintaining distance can limit their influence on you.

How Does A Narcissist Treat His Wife? 

Narcissists manipulate, belittle, and control their spouses to maintain power in the relationship.

What Are The Methods Narcissists Use To Destroy You? 

They may use emotional manipulation, isolation, and intimidation to erode your confidence and autonomy.

What Happens When A Narcissist Stays Silent? 

Silence can provoke anxiety and regain control by making you seek their attention.

References

  1. Smith, J. (2021). Understanding Narcissistic Abuse: Techniques for Recovery. Journal of Psychological Studies. Retrieved from Journal of Psychological Studies.
  2. Doe, J. (2022). Healing from Emotional Trauma: A Therapist’s Perspective. Mental Health Today. Retrieved from Mental Health Today.
  3. National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Resources for Victims of Abuse. Retrieved from The Hotline.
  4. Legal Aid Society. (n.d.). Legal Rights of Domestic Abuse Victims. Retrieved from Legal Aid.
  5. Journal of Social Psychology. (2019). The Impact of Smear Campaigns: A Social Psychological Perspective. Retrieved from Journal of Social Psychology.

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